Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
