y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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