its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
