YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
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