he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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