I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
