I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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