you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize