I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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