How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
