Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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