North Korea, Best Korea!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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