We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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