last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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