the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize