So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm way too hungover for life right now
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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