i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
