He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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