Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
