true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
