It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
