There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
