I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
