Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
