We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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