to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
