Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
