Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
