two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
