Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
