my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
