you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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