That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You've changed since you got that strap on
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
