Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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