I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
