As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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