# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
