i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize