My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize