I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
