wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize