I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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