I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
