listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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