also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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