i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
