Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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