If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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