Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
