there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
