I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
