Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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