in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
