Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
