just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
