she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
