just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
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