Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I did not marry a roomba.
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