new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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