True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I FOUND THE LEGS
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
