I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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