My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Best friends brother. Beat that.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Can I color on your dick again?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
