ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
they're like a gay fantastic four
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
