I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
