Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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