Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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