dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You did what with his pubic hair?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
