So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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