Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
