the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
